These words have many interpretations and can take many forms, often they are used as a rationalization or justification for actions taken or inflicted on others. Indeed such ‘convictions’ of ‘doing the Lord’s work” has been the underpinnings over the millennium to impose one’s will upon others, sometimes to the point of taking up arms, or simply ‘fighting the good fight’ by sustaining discord in the interest of following “God’s Will”. Conviction of Spirit is a tricky, and potentially dangerous territory to step into.
Discerning the difference between one’s own personal agenda, one’s own stubbornness, one’s own personal will and determination, to peel off all the layers and to go into the heart of an experience — to risk knowing ‘this I must do’ even when I don’t want to — takes a lot of courage. Such introspection might mean giving up ones pet project, might result in being led to abandon our commitments, goals, expectations and personal agendas. There is risk (and courage) in going beneath the personal will and to ask in an unvarnished way: “Is this for Me or for Thee”?
Someone years ago someone once said to me “If something is right, it will only become more right as times goes on.” Following this motto could be one way to discern whether or not it is Thee or of Me. Is there support for the work, does Way open up? It doesn’t mean that we do or don’t get our own way; it means as we travel down the Path, do we see how the Universe opens up THIS path, this turn, this door, and illuminates each step? Does Way open up? Is there Spirit behind us, supporting and unfolding our journey?
Are we convicted by Spirit, or held hostage by our convictions?