Activists take up a cause, perhaps become part of a group; some may create a mission and vision statement, or organize their efforts toward a worthy goal. These aren’t necessarily bad things, in fact many good works and positive changes come out of such activities! I may see and even acknowledge the value of what an activist or what a movement has to bring, and yet know that it isn’t mine to do. It is theirs to do. The Conviction of Spirit hasn’t been laid upon me to follow in their footsteps.
Holding a sense of being ‘convicted by the Spirit” isn’t necessarily the spirit of self-righteousness, but a Spirit of knowing that we are being used. There is no internal conflict in this, if doubts come in, if we have to pump ourselves up with anger or determination, to be on guard for ‘temptation’, such disturbances become clues, clues that somehow our personal will may be driving the bus, not Conviction of Spirit.
Instead I have to look for where I’m being propelled, what is the push for me, where does it originate from and where am I being directed? I may not understand why or how things may unfold or where it will take me, but I can take the next right step, and move in that direction. Inevitably there is a peace in that – a relaxation that comes from simply being in harmony with that place within, no struggle or doubt, or fear. A knowing that following my Heart fulfills Spirit’s purpose.
This doesn’t mean that eventually Way won’t open up. We can have a knowing, a spark within that gets us started and then obstacles present themselves — all of the obstacles that need to be cleared away are the things that are attached to our own agenda: will power, determination, stubbornness, and expectation. As each one is dismantled and moved to the side, our path becomes smoother; we are filled with a sense of knowing, sometimes we feel a lightening of the load, or a feeling of release. Still we feel a compulsion, and propulsion, a realization that we can do no other than what we are doing.